........ and I'm having trouble getting over it..!
With any wedding arrangements there is going to be conflict. I get that! I understand that it is inevitable.
THIS I did not see coming.
My daughter has picked a wedding date for Feb '11. Which is lovely and gives us all ample time to plan.
Her fiance doesn't do religion. My daughter does. But compromise is the key here and while she is ok with not having a church wedding, she is very adamant that any children will be christened and have a religious upbringing. An effective compromise.
Trying to find somewhere for her to get married that wasn't a church is/was problematic. But - whilst I was talking to my friend she suggested a beautiful chapel that has no religious affiliation.
So.....
While my daughter was overseas with work, hubby and I went and had a look at this chapel. We both decided on the spot that the chapel was beautiful, and the gardens outstanding for photos etc. We felt that this met both my daughter's and fiances needs. The plus to all of this is that just across the road there is a fantastic wedding reception function centre that would be ideal to carry on the festivities.
The day my daughter returned from overseas we all went and had a look. She was ecstatic as was her fiance. Both venues were PERFECT. Everyone had grins from ear to ear. A tentative date was set and arrangements to pay a deposit for both venues promised.
So, what's the problem you might ask...?
My daughter's best friend is also getting married that year - 9 months after my daughter to be exact. She has already booked the chapel and paid a deposit.
Now - keep in mind that it was hubby and I who found the chapel. Not my daughter.
Her best friend and her fiance (who is also best mates with my daughter's fiance) - demanded that my daughter cannot get married in the same chapel.... as it was her who found it first, and that it would not be the same for them if my daughter got married there.
...........she then went on to say that if my daughter did chose to get married there, then she would have to cancel and lose her $300 deposit and find somewhere else.
This has upset my daughter greatly because she doesn't feel she can go ahead with it under those circumstances. She would feel bad - and she's not that sort of person.
Conversations went back and forth with both parties. No reconciliation. Nothing!
This girlfriend is an only child AND very used to getting her own way.
I am ANGRY because as an adult I figure and pardon me if I am wrong - that
........both girls should be able to have the chapel as it is 9 months apart
........ both weddings will be entirely different
.......AND ffs who is she to tell us THE PARENTS of the bride, who found this chapel and solution to the problem of it not being a religious place or ceremony THAT WE CANT HAVE IT...!
......this friend wont budge and allow my daughter to ALSO use the chapel. And if she does it will be because she feels forced to do so, she will need to find somewhere else, lose her deposit as she will not get married in the same place. My daughter could not live with herself if this was the case. It would ruin her day!
Where does this leave us? We need to find somewhere else which is NOT easy. There are no other non religious chapels around. Getting married in a public garden etc is an option - but WE DONT want to have to worry about the weather.......
OKAY - please give me your thoughts on this.
Any solutions - ANYTHING most welcome.
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